my first blog

I have 4 kids (Jen 12, Sarah 9 (ADD) Katie 4 and Lucas 2,one angel Nicolas ( jan 4 94-Dec 2 96 ) and my dh and I have been together 14 years (Edward) well just before Edward and I started dating he and his ex had a Baby Jordan (14) Edward and I were dating when my Son passed away( it was from an unknown cause they think Long QT (a heart defect). When he passed away the Ex got it in her head that Edward had done somthing to cause it (He did NOT) so she refused to let us see Jordan... Fast forward to May'09 Edward got a FB message that she cant keep doing this, Jordan wants to get to know his father (insert happy dance ) so Edward called and talked to Jordan ... June now Jordan sends Edward a message he wants to come live with us ... Back up we have not even seen Jordan in 10 years .. We compramise how about you come visit for a month? He is thrilled and arrived here on June 19th. I had a real hard time with it at first I missed Nicolas so much but Jordan and I bonded we were more then able to talk to each other. So I told Jordan that it was hard for me to have him here as he and Nicolas are only 11months apart... Well that did it for him I shared my stuff and he let go and shared his stuff with me his Step dad had been physical with him more then once he is grounded and had been for the last 10 months , while on July 12 Edward and I were talking that I was worried about sending Jordan home couldn't we just keep him I asked? No dear dont dwell on it, ok I said. the next morning The ex calls and I can only hear what Edward is saying "keep him like for how long?" ... :P He took the rest of the call in our room so as to not have Jordan over here it... her answer was till he's 18 or 19.... WE CAN KEEP HIM ?! . So Tuesday night she called again to confirm that we want to keep him. He has to go back to her place( shes coming on Sunday ) he has court ( took there van for a joy ride) and she would like to visit with him for a few days he will be coming back on Aug 11 and we can just keep him... I have had every emotion I know of and some I never knew I had this last 6 weeks. I Know love that I never knew before and I am able to share that and let my kids see me share love with no strings.. Its wonderful!

This is my first blog so I am not sure what all to include please feel free to ask questions.
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LyndaC