Today is $hitty!

yesterday was the first really shit day since Jordan got here. I am still SO mad and not even sure why it pisses me off so much. All I want is a "sorry". Yesterday Jordan went to a friends (JS)at 1pm he told us he would be home at 8:30pm that was fine till JS's mom called at 5pm to see if they were here...well they were not here and I felt (feel) like an idiot.
then this morning I go to go out and take my Ipod only to find out that the headphone jack is now wrecked. Edward talked to Jordan about not letting us know were he was and thats not why I'm upset he was home at 7pm so all was good there it just looks bad that I didn't know where my kid was. I am upset that the Ipod got wrecjed but it can be fixed Edward is good at that stuff. What really hurts is he never told me and I'm furstrated cause Edward takes his side saying maybe he doesn't know he did it. I am not in a mood that it will help to talk to Jordan I just want to sit and cry I am so frustrated with the whole situation. I love him so much but am hurt by something so small. It seems silly to be upset.

I guess I'll have to talk to him sooner or later but for now I'm going to go out for a few hours with a friend and see what happens when I get home I asked Edward to talk to Jordan while I'm gone. I will also go to aqua fit tomorrow and get some of the frustrations out.

Mom!

Family outing

today we all, my family and daycare kids went to Fort Edmonton park and boy was it fun. It was the first thing we have done that Edward came with us.

Mom!

One week down

OK we made it through one week no major problems. I am almost done school shopping so that's a bonus. We are going to Fort Edmonton park tomorrow. Just taking it day by day. We have not hit any snags thus far. I just feel so blessed. Katie is having a hard time she would like to send Jordan back to his mom she told me she doesn't want him to live here... she'll get over it we talked about why Jordan is here so hopefully she will start to understand that. Sarah is just going with the flow. Jenny seems to be doing a bit better this week no as angry anymore. Then there is Lucas he is on cloud 9 still me just loves Jordan to pieces.

Mom!

first test

went very well told to be home at 7 home before 5pm had dinner and went back out and was home before I got back with Timmies..lol Ok so far so good.
Mom!

August 1

OK Aug 1 has brought Lucas pink eye..lol Jordan is having his first and only chance to go out with his friend... Lets see what happens it is 2:17pm Edward gave him till 7pm to be home.

Mom!

The last day of July!

so today is the last day of July I sit here with so much to do to think about and then I smile I already done so much in the month of July and it will just be getting more and more crazy from here on in. I wish things would have been different I mean the outcome is what I wanted don't get me wrong but did she have to hurt his feels so much? I will love away the pain it will just take time, Jordan hasn't said much... he is hurting I see that but I know its not quiet time for us to talk about it. When she left on Wednesday night she only said "goodbye" no hugs or kisses no I love you. I wanted to yell at her your leaving your first born at my house you can at least tell him you love him and give him a kiss and a hug he may not want it but you still are his mother.. Oh time will heal this a long time...

Today Jordan has to call probation so here we go on to the next chapter.

Jenny is doing a lot better, Sarah is just along for the ride,Katie is not dealing to great she is peeing her pants and she can't sleep she is slow to make adjustments and Lucas is on cloud 9 he is so in love with Jordan it is the most wonderful thing.

Lucas had to go to the Er yesterday morning he woke up screaming he was saying his neck hurt turns out he pulled a muscle and it will just take time to get better. At the hospital Lucas says Jordan home? Yes he's still there. Jordan got here at bedtime so Lucas didn't know he stayed. I have never seen a greater bond then Lucas and Jordan...shh I'm glad she sent Jordan back sooner cause for 4 days Lucas thought Jordan was in the car..lol

Can't wait to see what August brings
Mom!

Jordan

This Is A Big Change In Your Life, I Can See But I'm Willing To Give All The Love Within Me
I'm Not Your Real Mother ,I Grant You That Thought But I Will Teach You What Your Real Father Taught
We Can Do All The Things That You Used To Do It May Feel A Little Strange But We'll Get Through That, Too! I'll Stand By Your Side Through Thick And Thin But Please Never Forget...I'm Here As Your Friend

I Love You,Lynda

new plan !

So Sunday we sent Jordan back to his Mom's so he could deal with court (court was today) and visit with her before coming back here for good. Well Monday morning Jordan called she wouldn't let him go to the beach.. Then she called and Jordan and her were fighting (physically) and by 12pm she had kicked him out of the house. Ok so I tell Jenny and my husband someone has to stay on FB at all times.. Well Jordan contacted Jenny on FB so he could talk to dad, Edward talked to him and he stayed Monday night at a friends. Tuesday he called and asked my husband to talk to his mom, he does and she says that Jordan can come home and she'll take him to court in the morning..She also told my husband that we must be good parents because our kids are very good and she hopes we can help Jordan. She also told my husband ( Ready this is my fave part) that Jordan called her a stupid whore and she was not his mom Lynda is!!!!! I love that we got close in the 6 weeks he was here but... nah I love it. I feel bad for Jordan but he will be here by 8:30pm tonight and he will be loved.
At court Jordan got 1 year probation, 70 hours of community service and he has to wait 6months to get his licence, seems fair to me.

I couldn't be happier.

The last few days have been so hard on all of us. My youngest Lucas thinks Jordans in the car he saw him go.. Katie is so whinny and Jenny is hurt because she sees me hurting.
Mom!

New day

So Edward get a message Jordan went strait back to his old ways. She said if he keeps it up he'll be back here by Friday..... dont tell but that would be just fine with me..lol
She claims he came home lastnight at 10pm stoned, home by 10pm is not bad at all.... I dont know if he was stoned or not so can't really say much about that.

My other kids asked how long till Jordan comes back sometime after the 29th I guess. Lucas keeps telling everyone Jordans in the car with the puppy...lol

This week is going to be a busy one shuffling the kids around to make a place for Jordan to be,but keeping busy will help keep me from going crazing missing him.

Mom!

sad but better

SO Jordans mom and step dad came and got him this morning around 11am . We all had a short visit and they headed back home ( about 3.5 hours away) I am feeling a bit better with him going back there. She is going to court with him Wednesday and I think shes having second thoughts about the charges. He left a lot of his things here so I have a bit more faith that he is sure he wants to be here. Lucas has already cried for Jordan he thinks he's at the store....lol. His mom said she has from Aug. 1-9 off so she is returning him sometime during those days... Aug 6 has been a date in my head for about 3 weeks now I have told a few people to remember that date... We'll see what happens. I know these 2 weeks are going to be tuff but I have done harder times then these... I am keeping busy tomorrow in mom movie day and Auqafit, Tuesdays mommy group and wednesday is auqafit too so I will keep busy and miss Josrdan but I'll have him back where I can show him that a family is specail and a family is love thats a family they come in all different sizes and different kinds but mines just right for me!!!
MomC

So sad today!

So today Jordan is heading back to his moms for 16days,or so the plan goes. I couldn't sleep and I want to cry. Edward is wonderful and we talked a lot last night, but I still worry that Jordan will change his mind and want to stay with his Mom.
Having a hard time Mom C

my first blog

I have 4 kids (Jen 12, Sarah 9 (ADD) Katie 4 and Lucas 2,one angel Nicolas ( jan 4 94-Dec 2 96 ) and my dh and I have been together 14 years (Edward) well just before Edward and I started dating he and his ex had a Baby Jordan (14) Edward and I were dating when my Son passed away( it was from an unknown cause they think Long QT (a heart defect). When he passed away the Ex got it in her head that Edward had done somthing to cause it (He did NOT) so she refused to let us see Jordan... Fast forward to May'09 Edward got a FB message that she cant keep doing this, Jordan wants to get to know his father (insert happy dance ) so Edward called and talked to Jordan ... June now Jordan sends Edward a message he wants to come live with us ... Back up we have not even seen Jordan in 10 years .. We compramise how about you come visit for a month? He is thrilled and arrived here on June 19th. I had a real hard time with it at first I missed Nicolas so much but Jordan and I bonded we were more then able to talk to each other. So I told Jordan that it was hard for me to have him here as he and Nicolas are only 11months apart... Well that did it for him I shared my stuff and he let go and shared his stuff with me his Step dad had been physical with him more then once he is grounded and had been for the last 10 months , while on July 12 Edward and I were talking that I was worried about sending Jordan home couldn't we just keep him I asked? No dear dont dwell on it, ok I said. the next morning The ex calls and I can only hear what Edward is saying "keep him like for how long?" ... :P He took the rest of the call in our room so as to not have Jordan over here it... her answer was till he's 18 or 19.... WE CAN KEEP HIM ?! . So Tuesday night she called again to confirm that we want to keep him. He has to go back to her place( shes coming on Sunday ) he has court ( took there van for a joy ride) and she would like to visit with him for a few days he will be coming back on Aug 11 and we can just keep him... I have had every emotion I know of and some I never knew I had this last 6 weeks. I Know love that I never knew before and I am able to share that and let my kids see me share love with no strings.. Its wonderful!

This is my first blog so I am not sure what all to include please feel free to ask questions.
twitter me LyndaPattinson
LyndaC